Deja Vu – walking through the Denver airport, headphones singing to my ears. Taking it all in, I began to notice the city names displayed in the departure gates. Austin, New York, Chicago, Cancun, Miami, Los Angeles, Salt Lake City, Dallas, Houston, Seattle, San Francisco, all familiar destinations to me in the past 12 months. I get lost in the memories associated, and then wonder where the next cloud surfing adventure will take me. Today, Phoenix, tomorrow destination unknown. And that is really the true beauty I see in it.
I believed my life was going to be a certain way. It would be a story of my one true love, my kids, and the happiness in between. And then I got sick. Not just a little sick, really sick. Physically and emotionally it took its toll on me. I struggled with image and acceptance, and I am sure I hurt people along the way. I am not sure, I know.
We never know what life is going to throw at us. I’ve experienced heartbreak and turmoil, and the past two years have been about regrowth of spirit. I’m saying yes, staying open. Experiencing and living life, because the alternative for me, is hibernation. And I don’t like the thought of not tasting the air, new food, or wine during hibernating periods.
So for me, it’s yes. And yes only if the shackles do not have my wrists screaming in pain.
I’m a yes to living, staying in the moment, all while respecting the future. My love for people, places, and things continues to grow and expand. And my life has been blessed due to the tenacity of how I greet it.
Choosing life does not mean everything is perfect. It’s more that I decided I am in charge of my smile and my happiness. There are days when the chill in the air makes me want to pull the covers over my head and sleep forever. And then there are days I am kissing the sunrise over coffee and writing at my desk.
I’ve cried a Nile long river over my past. 12 surgeries, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer, pain, exploratory medication, trigger point injections, and thousands of moments of doubt. And I know I did not always make the right decisions, or follow what my heart ached for.
So yes, is the only way. Yes to my heart, not someone else’s, which does not mean I don’t respect another’s heart. Cloudsurfing the skies is music to soul, and feeds my thirst for life.
My spirit is full, it is rejuvenated. Wherever I go I am determined to make someone smile or laugh, even if to them, I am the immature person in the room.
I was given a new life. They say our bodies cells regenerate themselves every seven years. The cancer is gone, yet the scars remain. I feel like my spirit has returned to its youthful, ever living state, and my cells have given my body another chance.
And now for me, yes is the only way. I don’t know where I will be tomorrow, but i do know my values, my goals, my dreams, my hopes, and my desires.
I don’t know how long I have on this earth, so I’m choosing to live it. Hibernation is for the Bears…
#yearofyes #cloudsurfing #travel
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